When I was a baby, God placed me into a giant tub filled with glitter — and I’ve been shining for Him ever since then!
I’m just kidding. I wish it was that simple. The story of how I learned to shine is actually far more complicated.
I grew up as a “good little Church girl” in a long family line of pastors and worship leaders. I was very proud of my title as the undefeated Bible Study Triva Champion. I knew a lot about God … but I didn’t really know Him.
I had a very distorted perception of who God was. I knew and loved Jesus. Yeah, Jesus was great! He loved me and died for me. He was so compassionate and kind! Jesus was approachable.
God, on the other hand, seemed like this uber-strict Father (complete with a long white beard) who was ready to smite me any time I stepped a toe out of line. So, out of fear, I kept all of my toes far away from the line of sin. If God didn’t even spare His son, surely, he wouldn’t spare me, right!? I had this unhealthy fear of God; my fear came from a place of absolute terror instead of deserved reverence. While it did keep me following the straight and narrow path, it also kept me from a relationship with Him.
Have you ever had a defining event that separates your life into two timeframes: life before the event and life after? For me, that even occurred on November 25, 2005. A routine medical procedure went wrong, and I almost bled to death on an operating table. And while I didn’t die, my dreams, goals and expectations did. The life I had planned (and forced) and worked so hard for came to a screeching halt. My priorities shifted from attending a prestigious university to learning how to walk again.
A lifetime of attempted perfection and good girl obedience seemed like it was all for nothing. God didn’t reward my good behavior; He unfairly punished me, instead. Or so it felt.
I knew in my head that God’s ways are higher than our ways (Isaiah 55:8-9 NIV), and God works all things together for our good. (Romans 8:28 NIV) I knew it in my head … but I didn’t believe it in my heart.
Friend, I wish I could neatly wrap up this story up here with an immediate Divine revelation. But I can’t. It honestly took me years of walking through a bleak wilderness, before I was able to grab onto God and His promises. During this time, I kept God at an even greater arms-length. Yet, even as I struggled with depression, anxiety, PTSD, chronic pain, physical therapy, and counseling sessions, God was there beside me. My back was turned to Him, but He waited patiently for me with open arms.
I inevitably hit rock bottom. The wandering in the wilderness eventually led me into a pitch-black pit. In despair, I finally cried out to God. And it was in that darkness that God revealed Himself — His true self — to me.
I had known about God in the light — in the bright days filled with sunshine and rainbows — but I got to really know God in the darkness.
I experienced the tenderness of a loving Father, who wrapped me in a gentle embrace. He bundled me up in a blanket of comfort, and caught every tear that I cried. I finally understood what a difficult sacrifice it was for Him to send Jesus to die for our sins (John 3:16), and that He did it because of His immeasurable love you me and you. God is our loving Father!
We live in a world where not everything is black and white. Good behavior doesn’t guarantee a good life. Jesus, Himself, warned us that we would have trouble, but He also promised us that through Him, we would overcome. (John 16:33)
John 1:5 NIV assures us, “The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.” Ironically, it was in the depths of my personal darkness where I truly learned how to shine.
Since then, I’ve dedicated my life to shining with the light of Christ. My greatest desire is to reflect the love of God, and lead others to Him. I started my own company, Write & Shine, where I use the words that God has placed in my heart and gifts that He’s given me to help others shine for Him. I’m beyond excited to be releasing my first prayer journal, Rise and Shine, this March on Amazon.
Friend, no matter what kind of darkness you have experienced (or maybe are even are currently walking through), God’s Light is still shining brightly, drawing you towards Him. That light can disperse even the darkest night. You, too, can let God’s light shine in you and through you.
Choose to shine!*
This article was originally published at www.Shepact.com and posted on ShePact's social media platforms in February 2024.
Comments